"The Fire Show," Scene B

We're still in the girl's apartment, "half an hour later":

LAVERNE AND SHIRLEY ARE SAYING "GOODBYE" TO THE TWO FIREMEN.  ONE OF THEM HAS A FIRE EXTINGUISHER.  THE FIREMEN EXIT.  THE GIRLS PUT ON LIPSTICK.

LAVERNE

Hey, come back when you're not in such a hurry.

SHIRLEY

There go two wonderful community servants.  Don't you love men in rubber boots?

LAVERNE

And did you get a load of that cutie who's still in the bedroom?

SHIRLEY

Yeah, I saw him.  I wish there was a way to make him stay.

LAVERNE

We could burn the couch.

LAVERNE/SHIRLEY

Nah.

Onscreen, this would all be replaced by Laverne's voiceover "Did you see that cute fireman who's still in the bedroom?"  In the stage directions, Ted is helpfully described as "a cute fireman."  After Shirley blames Laverne for fire traps/hazards, this was dropped:

TED

For instance, a frayed lamp cord.  And all those copies of "Scandals on Parade" under your beds.

LAVERNE AGAIN TRIES TO ANSWER BUT SHIRLEY CUTS HER OFF.

SHIRLEY

Laverne reads them for their dirty stores [sic].  I, myself, only save them for their casserole recipes.

THE GIRLS START FOR HIM.  LAVERNE SWINGS SHIRLEY OUT OF THE WAY BY THE HAIR.

Laverne does a bit later tear out some of Shirley's hair.  In this script, Shirley's middle name is spelled "Wilhomena."  Shirley saying she's known Laverne since the eighth grade seems to be an adlib, and probably an inaccurate one.

There's a fadeout onscreen after the girls shake hands for their agreement to let Ted decide between them the next day, but there was a bit more in the script:

SHIRLEY

But I'm warning you, I do intend to bake.

LAVERNE

Well, I intend to shower.

LAVERNE AND SHIRLEY LOOK AT EACH OTHER.  BEAT.  THEN SHIRLEY HEADS FOR KITCHEN AND LAVERNE FOR BEDROOM.

Thoughts:

• I can see why they didn't bother with the two non-speaking firemen and just introduced Ted Nelson.
• No judgment, but I think Shirley has a rubber-boot fetish.
• Squiggy tries to save the beds from burning, but the girls consider burning their couch, just to get a cute guy.
• I guess reading Scandals on Parade for the recipes is sort of like reading Playboy for the articles.
• Shirley's hair is way too short for her to be swung around by it.
• Does Laverne not shower every day?
• Shirley apparently is going to get started on the baking early.