"Lonely At the Middle," Scenes J & K

It's back to the "factory - day":

IT IS THE NEXT MORNING.  SHIRLEY IS THERE AS THE WORKERS ENTER.

SHIRLEY

Good morning, Iris.  Florence.  Leroy, did you try that diet I suggested?

LEROY

Uh-huh.

SHIRLEY

Good.  You watch how that extra protein improves your work.

In the script, Shirley says that Laverne took the bus to work because "she said putting fuel in a vehicle that only carried two people was wasteful," while onscreen Shirley says, "You know how fond she is of being grabbed."

The mustache on Shirley's picture was added.  This is the dropped dialogue after Shirley refers to "Worker of the Week":

LAVERNE

(TO LEROY) What do you think the prize will be?  A weekend with Jimmy Hoffa?

SHIRLEY

Don't worry about keeping tally, I'll do that for everyone.  Good luck.

Onscreen, Laverne rides the conveyor belt out of the room and the scene ends.  Then the next scene starts with Shirley challenging Laverne to a fight, and the girls face off until Mr. Tompkins enters.  In the script, they just kept going with Scene J:

SHIRLEY

(ROLLING UP SLEEVES) Okay, Laverne, that does it!

LAVERNE STARTS ROLLING UP HER SLEEVES.  RALPH SUDDENLY COMES RUNNING IN.

RALPH

Here comes Mr. Tomkins [sic].

SHIRLEY

Mr. Tompkins is here!

SHE GIVES A BIG FAKE SMILE WITH FAKE CHEERY ATTITUDE.  TURNS THE CONVEYOR BELT BACK ON.  [She'd turned it off earlier.]

SHIRLEY (CONT'D)

Everybody now!  Wet... lift... stick... return.  (TO LAVERNE WITH CLENCHED SMILE)  I'll talk to you later, Laverne.

LAVERNE

It's a date.

WORKERS RESUME WORKING.  ENTER MR. TOMPKINS.  HE STANDS JUST INSIDE DOOR FOR A MOMENT OBSERVING THE OPERATION.

SHIRLEY

(CHEERY AND EFFICIENT) Very good.  Very good.  Wet... lift... stick... return...

Onscreen, after Shirley asks if she's been fired, Mr. Tompkins says she's going back to her old job.  Then we get more of the L & L frame, with Shirley coming in.  Then Laverne is I guess telling the flashback to Shirley, even though her roommate was there for the part of them in the kitchen.  Here's some dumped dialogue:

TOMPKINS

Well, let me put it this way: you've been... released.

SHIRLEY LOOKS DOWNCAST.

TOMPKINS (CONT'D)

I know... I know... this is not easy for me either.  You tried and you failed.

HE EXITS.  SHIRLEY STANDS THERE A MOMENT AND THEN BEGINS TO SOB.

IRIS

Hey, look at Shirley.

LEROY

What's she crying about?  We're going as fast as we can.

LAVERNE

All right, all right.  Everybody knock off!  Coffee break!  Take fifteen.

IRIS

But our coffee break isn't until ten-thirty.

LAVERNE

(TESTY) Then go to the bathroom, Iris.

WORKERS EXIT.  LAVERNE APPROACHES SHIRLEY.

LAVERNE (CONT'D)
(PUTS HER ARM AROUND SHIRLEY.  TRYING TO BE LIGHT) Hey, Miss Feeney, what's the matter?

SHIRLEY

Mr. Tompkins fired me.  I messed up everything.  (SOB)

LAVERNE

(CONSOLING) Come on, Shirl...

SHIRLEY

No.  Go ahead.  Let me have it.  I deserve it.

LAVERNE

Shirl, it's over.  I've forgotten already.

SHIRLEY

Do it again, Laverne.  A cake in the face.  It'll make us both feel better.

LAVERNE

No, it won't, Shirl.  Besides, they only have Oreos in the vending machine.

The next part of the dialogue got moved to that kitchen scene.  The parts with the mustache and the suggestion box, including Laverne singing "High Hopes," were not in this version of the script.  Here's how the scene used to end:

SHIRLEY

You're right, Vernie.  It's lonely at the middle.

SHIRLEY SMILES.  ARM IN ARM THEY WALK OFF THROUGH THREE SPOTLIGHTS SHINING ON THE FLOOR.

And so ends Act Two.

The tag is set in the "girls' apartment - night"

SHIRLEY IS SITTING ON THE COUCH, WRITING IN HER DIARY.  LAVERNE IS IN THE KITCHEN, MAKING A MILK AND PEPSI, AND AN ORANGE DRINK FOR SHIRLEY.

SHIRLEY (V.O.)

Dear, Diary... Well, I'm back on the line.  I'm not really unhappy, though.  They're gonna use some of the suggestions to speed up production.  Maybe we will still get that raise after all.

LAVERNE CROSSES TO THE COUCH AND HANDS SHIRLEY HER DRINK.

LAVERNE

(RAISING HER GLASS)  Here's to being together again.

Onscreen, we actually start with the boys entering and Squiggy saying hello, without a cue!  (Maybe there was one and it got cut out.)  In this script, the boys' song is just called "their song," and they probably just figured McKean and Lander would come up with something later, which they did.  The script doesn't have the girls kicking the boys out; it just ends with the then lyric-less song.

Thoughts:

• I just checked the credits, and it's "Henry Wanda."  I still think he was a large woman in an earlier version.  And it is "Mr. Tompkins."
• Pat McCormick, who plays Big Henry, is also listed as a consultant, but I don't know if this is about unions or something else.
• As for these scenes in the script, again the material is more polished onscreen, but the girls' making up is sweet in a different way.
• I prefer that Shirley is not humiliated in front of so many people.  And, no, I have no idea who Florence and Ralph are.
• Jimmy Hoffa mysteriously disappeared in 1975, so that's a fairly timely joke, although of course it would mean something different to Laverne in the late '50s.
• Iris is again a dingaling, and Laverne is understandably annoyed.
• Title drop!
• The spotlights are a little cheesy, but not as bad as in "Monastery."
• And another dropped diary sequence.