SHIRLEY IS IN HER FAVORITE CHAIR, READING OVER WHAT SHE'S WRITTEN IN HER DIARY. LAVERNE IS READING A MAGAZINE.
SHIRLEY (V.O.)
Dear Diary... Boy, am I glad I'm not a man. Their bathrooms make me sick. I haven't said anything, but I think Laverne enjoyed it.
SHIRLEY SMILES AT LAVERNE, WHO SMILES BACK. THE DOOR BURSTS OPEN, SQUIGGY RUSHES IN.
SQUIGGY
Hello... Listen, Lenny and I got a favor to ask. Here's a crayon. Could you go down to the YWCA and write our phone number on the ladies' room wall?
SHIRLEY
No.
SQUIGGY
Nothing fancy. Just say, "For a skyrocket to the stars, call Lenny and the Stud." That's me.
LAVERNE
We're not gonna do that.
SQUIGGY GOES TO THE DOOR.
SQUIGGY
You're leaving me no choice. That's it, Len. You gotta do it for us.
LENNY ENTERS, IN A DRESS. HE GRABS THE CRAYON FROM SQUIGGY.
LENNY
Why is it always me?
SQUIGGY
SQUIGGY
'Cause you know I look rotten in yellow...
THEY EXIT. LAVERNE JUMPS UP.
LAVERNE
This I gotta see. You coming?
SHIRLEY
I've seen enough bathrooms for one week.
LAVERNE
(YELLS TO LENNY) Hey, cutie. Walk you to the corner?
LAVERNE EXITS. SHIRLEY RETURNS TO HER DIARY.
SHIRLEY (V.O.)
Dear Diary... Lenny just came down in a dress. Squiggy took him to the ladies' room at the Y. Laverne went to watch... You and I are the only sane ones... and you're a book.
Thoughts:
- !!!
- Shirley's main objection to "being a man" would be the foul-smelling restrooms.
- Laverne on the other hand, at least according to Shirley, enjoyed the experience.
- Squiggy bursts in, and it's not even a Hello Moment.
- That's a surprisingly clean requested message, but the girls still say no.
- This scene would've gotten Michael into drag earlier than canon actually did. Also, "always me"?!
- Offhand, I can't remember either boy in yellow, but I'll take Squiggy's word for it that the color suits Lenny better.
- Laverne flirts with Lenny, while he's in drag, and she's looking forward to "watching." Maybe she's just amused, but then again.
- Is Shirley the only sane one? Explain why or why not in fifty words or less.
This is probably THE scene I'm maddest that they cut out of the show.
ReplyDelete"For a skyrocket to the stars, call Lenny and the Stud." "I'm Lenny!" "And I'm the Squigtone!"
HOW MANY RESTROOMS HAVE THEY DONE THIS TO?!
THE FLIRTING. I CAN HEAR PENNY'S DELIVERY.
Shirley thinks she's the sane one, but she's the one who breaks down every time someone points out her fairytale dreams have no substance to them. In this essay, I will...
I would probably choose the pool hall scene with the boys and Hector if I absolutely had to pick just one, but yeah.
DeleteThe mind boggles about how many restrooms.
Yep, so can I, especially since we hear her say "cutie" in canon often enough.
Yeah, "Testing Testing" gives a glimpse into her mental health.
Well, we have proof they filmed that - I wonder if it exists in some format.
DeleteYep, exactly, on both counts.