"A Nun's Story," Scene 8

We're at the Pizza Bowl, "later":

WE START ON A JUKE BOX PLAYING A LOUD, UP-TEMPO SONG THEN PULL BACK TO REVEAL THAT THE ROOM IS FILLED WITH PEOPLE STANDING AROUND LOOKING MISERABLE.  WE FIND SHIRLEY, LAVERNE, ANNE MARIE AND LENNY AT TABLE.

Set-up dialogue was added for the filming, and the song is the definitely not up-tempo "Pretend" by Nat King Cole.  Laverne insists everyone is having a bad time because of AM, while Shirley is in denial, despite the details Laverne gives.  Then it goes into Lenny's "Confession," where "Spencer's Five and Dime" became "Spencer's Department Store," and his history quiz became a quiz in Hygiene.

Much of this was omitted:

FRANK DE FAZIO APPROACHES WITH A TRAY ON WHICH ARE SEVERAL GLASSES.  HE SETS THE TRAY ON THE TABLE AND BEGINS DISTRIBUTING THE GLASSES.

FRANK

It looks like you girls could use another round.

LAVERNE

Three more ginger ales.

LENNY

Nothing for me.  I'm in confession.

LENNY CONTINUES THINKING ABOUT HIS SINS AS FRANK EXITS.

ANNE MARIE

Look, if you girls would like a beer, it wouldn't bother me at all.

SHIRLEY

We seldom drink alcoholic beverages.

LAVERNE

Sometimes a little wine at Christmas.

LENNY

I'm clean for the tenth grade 'cause I was out with mono.

LENNY GOES BACK TO HIS CONTEMPLATION.

ANNE MARIE

I can see what's going on.  Nobody is having a good time.  Let's face it, you can't go home again... especially in a nun's habit.

SHIRLEY

It's not your fault.  It's mine, I should have planned some games.

ANNE MARIE

It is my fault.  I ask you... what does each person do when they walk in the door?

LAVERNE

They come over to the table and say "hello."

ANNE MARIE

They don't say "hello."  They say: "Hey, she's a nun."

LENNY

(SUDDENLY ABOUT TO BURST INTO TEARS) I did an awful thing to Squiggy last year.  But he was asking for it...  (HE BURIES HIS HEAD ON THE TABLE AS ANNE MARIE PATS HIM COMFORTINGLY ON THE BACK; A BEAT, THEN HE LOOKS UP)  Don't you want to know what I did to Squiggy?

ANNE MARIE

(THINKS A BEAT,THEN) No.  I'd better leave.  I'm ruining your party.

ANNE MARIE GETS UP.  SHIRLEY AND LAVERNE GET UP WITH HER.

SHIRLEY

It's not your fault, Anne Marie... it's ours.  (SPEAKNG OUT TO THE OTHERS IN THE ROOM) Hey, everybody, listen up.  Can't you see what's happening?  We're all acting like jerks.  We could have a good time if we just started acting like ourselves.  Now why don't we start all over?

Onscreen, Lenny's mono became ringworm, and AM cuts the confession short, since nuns can't hear confessions.  They skip ahead to AM saying she's leaving the party, but Shirley's speech is left out until she suggests they all sing the alma mater.  In the script they sing "reverently," but it's reluctantly onscreen.  The "Fillard Millmore High" slip is not in the script.

THINGS SEEM TO BE PICKING UP.  SQUIGGY YELLS FOR ATTENTION.

SQUIGGY

Now it's time for a special present from Laverne.

SHIRLEY

You're giving a present, Laverne?

LAVERNE

(PANICKED) Oh, I forgot.  Forget it, Squiggy.  It's cancelled.

SQUIGGY

No, it ain't.  It's all ready.  This is a special present from Laverne to Anne Marie.  (YELLS) Okay, Hector.

There's no set-up for Hector's entrance onscreen, beyond him finishing counting offstage and Laverne suddenly remembering.  The entrance itself, and Frank's reaction, are from the script.

Thoughts:

• I think it works better to have the "confession" at a separate table.
• "Hygiene" is funnier than "history," and "ringworm" is funnier than mono.
• I appreciate that they're trying to integrate Frank into the scene, but a waitress could've brought over the ginger ales with that forgettable line.
• This Lenny is more reflective than the Lenny who spills his guts on screen.
• I want to know what Lenny did to Squiggy, and what Squiggy did to deserve it, but maybe McKean thought this was too out of character for the boys' friendship.
• This AM continues to be more insecure than the one in the final version.
• Shirley blames herself and then everyone in the room.
• It works better to not have Squiggy cluelessly insist on Laverne's "present" and just have Hector burst out.
• Again, the filmed version is better than the script.