"Life Is the Tar Pits" script, Scene C

We finally get to the girls' apartment, "three weeks later."  This makes no sense with the established timeline, since at the end of Scene A, Karen said she "may be off to New York in three weeks."  If two weeks passed between Scenes A and B, it's now a total of five weeks.  Anyway, it's night.

A SMALL PARTY IS GOING ON.  LENNY AND KAREN ARE DANCING.  SQUIGGY AND CARMINE ARE SEATED TOGETHER WHILE LAVERNE IS DANCING.  SHIRLEY CROSSES THE ROOM WITH A BOWL OF DIP.

SHIRLEY

More bean dip anyone?

LAVERNE IS DANCING WITH A GUY THAT WE CAN'T SEE.  BEHIND HIS BACK SHE SCOOPS A FINGER OF DIP.

SHIRLEY (CONT'D)

At least use a cracker.

Shirley's lines were left out.  When the scene opens on the episode, Lenny and Karen are talking inaudibly by the stairs.  Squiggy is sitting alone and then Carmine joins him.  Their dialogue is mostly the same in both versions, although in the script it's just "the anniversary of when my sacred grandmother croaked," while in the aired episode it's specifically the eleventh anniversary of the death of his step-grandmother.  Also, when Carmine says he's sorry, Squiggy onscreen says "Why, you didn't kill her?", while script-Squiggy says, "So am I.  The old dame could really dance.  She would've livened up the joint."

For some reason, Karen's "Lenny, I'm so glad I met you" and his reply, "You're glad. I'm inflated!" were moved forward, then Carmine and Shirley's exchange about them was put next.  Note that in both versions Carmine says, "I can't believe Lenny and Karen have been seeing each other for three weeks" (emphasis added).  

Then the scene switches back to Karen and Lenny, although it's not broken up in the script.  The gift of the bone necklace is mostly unchanged, but I'll note that Lenny is "overwhelmed" by the gift and he "hugs her" before she "kisses him on the lips."  Also, he blushes as he says, "Oh, my Lord.  My favorite lips," which is more restrained in the episode.

His return gift in the filmed version is a buffalo nickel, but here's how it went in the script:

HE SCROUNGES THROUGH HIS POCKETS TO COME UP WITH A GIFT.  HE PRODUCES A BASEBALL CARD.

LENNY

I want you to have this.

KAREN

Hank Aaron!  How sweet.

LENNY

Not really.  He's hard to get.  It's Hank's face taped over a Marv Thronberry [sic] card.  You can hardly tell the difference.  I... want you to have it.

KAREN

Oh, Len.

What actually came after Squiggy talking about his (step-)grandmother in the script was this:

LAVERNE AND FRIEND DANCING.  DURING THE FOLLOWING, THEY SLOWLY TURN AND WE SEE THAT LAVERNE'S DATE IS THE GUY FROM "A" SCENE.

LAVERNE

Who'd have thought that we'd meet because you happened to stop at my door to ask for directions to the Slauson cutoff?

MAN

It must have been fate that I picked 113 1/2 Laurel Vista.

LAVERNE

Yeah, the freeway works in strange ways.

MAN

You know, you never showed me where Slauson is.

LAVERNE POINTS HER ARM STRAIGHT OFF.

LAVERNE

It's that way.

THE MAN SPINS AROUND SO HE IS IN THE POSITION TO PLANT KISSES UP LAVERNE'S OUTSTRETCHED ARM.  SHE IS PLEASED.

LAVERNE (CONT'D)

You'll never find what you're looking for that way.

MAN

Wanna bet?

In the filmed version, this became an exchange about Ginger Rogers and a map to the stars' homes.

Then came Lenny & Karen, and then Shirley & Carmine.  Squiggy's reaction to Lenny and Karen leaving, and then how he acts afterwards, is similar in both versions, but when Lenny says, "O.K. See ya later," Squiggy was supposed to reply, "Oh, yeah?  Not if I see you first."

Act Two ends with his exit, which everyone is "oblivious to."

I have thoughts and feels:

• I know it's only the final draft, but this timeline is insane.  I'm glad it was smoothed out for filming.
• This is at least the fourth time a dance that I would like to see (the other three being the dance in "I Do, I Do" and the two in "Debutante Ball") was cut out, and I am not happy.
• Laverne has such bad manners and/or a healthy appetite, she will steal bean dip with her finger while dancing with her latest boyfriend.
• Squiggy definitely has some interesting relatives.
• I'm not sure why the scene was sliced and diced like it is, maybe to change flow and emphasis.
• I'm not sure which I prefer for Lenny's return gift.  The nickel seems more planned, since he doesn't scrounge through his pockets.
• Apparently, the Slauson cutoff was a running joke on Johnny Carson's version of The Tonight Show.  It's not especially close to Burbank, being in the Whittier area.  The "Ginger Rogers" lie is smoother, although nameless Man Gomez-Addamsing up Laverne's arm would've been interesting.
• Lenny and Karen are definitely the center of attention (except for Laverne & Man, who have also been going out three+ weeks), but what do we know about them at this point?
• They're very glad they met.
• She gives him a gift for helping her and for "just being Lenny," and we know from Scene B that her necklace means a lot to her.
• He is "overwhelmed" by this gift; and her kiss, probably not their first, makes him blush and call out to God.
• I'm going to guess that they haven't gone much further.  (And Man hasn't yet found Laverne's "Slauson," but he's working on it.)
• Karen and Lenny had plans to leave the party, which Lenny told Squiggy about in advance (both versions).  Perhaps it's another study session, but please, Len, don't take her to Cowboy Bill's again!