"We're in the Army Now" script, Scene H

New set (left over from the boys' failed spinoff apparently): the barracks, daytime.

THERE ARE EIGHT COTS, FOUR ON EACH SIDE.  LAVERNE, SHIRLEY AND SIX OTHER WACS ALL ENTER THE BARRACKS.  ALL THE GIRLS ARE DRESSED IN FATIGUES AND CARRYING DUFFLE BAGS, EXCEPT FOR SHIRLEY WHO HAS HER OVERNIGHT CASE.  LAVERNE HAS HER CAMERA AND IS TAKING PICTURES AS SHIRLEY WRITES IN A NOTEBOOK, HER ARMY JOURNAL.

LAVERNE

(TAKING PICTURE) Smile sexy, Shirl.  [!!!!]  I'm sending this one to Carmine.  [Sure you are, Laverne.]

SHIRLEY POSES AND SMILES.  LAVERNE SNAPS THE PICTURE.

SHIRLEY

(WRITING IN NOTEBOOK) Please no more picture [sic].

The thing of her planning to publish How I Saved My Country is in there, although in the script her pen name was "Shirley Wilhelmina Feeney," rather than S. Wilhelmina Feeney.  (I thought Shirley was embarrassed by her middle name, but maybe she's gotten over it by Season Five.)

In the script, Shirley hopes that Laverne's book-jacket photo was "above the waist," because "no one takes an author seriously if their knees are showing," while in the episode she worries that Laverne was shooting up her nose.

Sgt. Shannon enters and is described as "kindly."  When Shannon asks if the "ladies" have any questions, Shirley replies, "This isn't exactly a question, but I want to commend you on how tidy you keep these barracks," and takes out a feather duster to show how she intends to keep them tidy.  In the script, Laverne worries, "Are you gonna give me one of those short little haircuts that'll make me look like Eddie Haskell?", before wanting to know, as she does in the episode, when the next USO dance is.  The part about the isolation from men and the exact number of men, including Laverne's heart and Shirley's journal, was all kept.

In both, the WACs will go through physical tests, but the closer was omitted:

SHIRLEY

Gee, they don't waste any time here.

LAVERNE

Didn't you hear her?  We only got eight weeks to get in shape for two million guys.  Move it!

So Laverne is more man-crazy in this version, although I still maintain that the "smile sexy" line is one of the slashiest Laverne was ever written to say by a staff writer.