"The Festival: Parts 1 and 2"

"The Festival: Parts 1 and 2"
September 5, 1978
B

For the 1978-79 season, the Tuesday ABC line-up stayed intact, and although I still preferred Thursdays (soon with Mork & Mindy before What's Happening!!, with poor on-its-last-legs Welcome Back, Kotter shuttled all over the week as it staggered on, usually Barbarino-less), this was my second favorite night of television in 5th grade.

That said, I definitely remember all the third season Three's Company a lot better than I remember this particular episode of L & S, and not just because 3'sC would be much more heavily syndicated.  I even remember the next week's hour-long Happy Days visit to a dude ranch more clearly and I'm sure I haven't seen that in over thirty years.  That's no reflection on this Roth-and-Sotkin-penned story, which, especially the first half, is a lot of fun.  But I do want to say that my initial reaction was Wow, I didn't know they did an episode set in New York!

I'm treating the two-parter as one episode, because that's how it aired, and there is no "Next week" or "Previously" on the DVD version.  Plus, although it feels like the split probably came with Frank's determination to enter the greasy-pole contest (no, they don't make the obvious joke about Lenny, although there is of course a "hello" entrance for him and Squiggy when Shirley reacts in disgust to the grease), I feel like the two parts hang together better than the halves of "The Cruise" did.

So Laverne and her father invite Shirley and Edna to a street festival in the old neighborhood, and to stay with Frank's mother.  Grandma DeFazio is played by Penny Santon, who was only 62 (three years younger than Phil Foster) but would have a very long career in television, spanning from Mr. Peepers to Friends.  Frank is reluctant to go because his mama is very critical of him, and he knows she isn't going to like his new mustache.  (I remember Foster with the mustache more than without, but I don't know if he keeps it through the next five seasons.)  Carmine is staying behind to look after the Pizza Bowl, so he and Shirley make out in a phone booth at the bus station.  He also gives Edna, Laverne, and almost Frank quick kisses.  Then Lenny asks, "Hey, Laverne, aren't you going to say goodbye to us?"  And he and Squiggy both grab and kiss her!  Good luck charting the shipping on this episode!  (But I'll try.)

It gets even more complicated when Laverne sees a cute guy, who turns out to be her cousin Anthony DeFazio (John Lansing, who would be a nameless Director in the final season).  They're very affectionate, although he flirts with Shirley, and Laverne reveals that Anthony was pretty cute when they used to play doctor as little kids.  Shirley says, "Smut with relatives, Laverne?"

Then Lenny & Squiggy show up, since, as Lenny puts it, there was nothing keeping them in Milwaukee but their job and their apartment.  They're actually there to spy on Shirley for Carmine, which Lenny takes a lot more seriously (and humorously) than Squiggy does.  I got the impression during the first three seasons that Carmine and Shirley weren't that serious and they were free to see other people, especially during their "breakup" and the whole thing with Lucille Lockwash.  Carmine was more protective than jealous or possessive.  Now she can't even go to New York for a few days without him worrying she's going to cheat on him?  Of course Lenny makes things worse in his phone updates, while still managing to cockblock Anthony (including with, if I caught it correctly, a story that ends, "...And that's how Shirley met Carmine."  And he keeps blinding Shirley and Anthony, who don't seem to do more than a little cuddling, with his flash camera.

As for Squiggy, he wins over "Mrs. Grandma" by eating a lot of her home-cooking, so she's thrilled when Frank lies and says Laverne is engaged to Squiggy, which leads to them kissing, and Laverne definitely doesn't enjoy it.  (Of the four possible straight pairs from L, L, S, and S, Squigerne has always struck me as the least plausible.)  Mrs. DeFazio dotes on Laverne, including in Italian, with Shirley having a hilarious reaction of "Well, I don't know about Gina Lollobrigida, but she is very proud of those" about Laverne's chest.  When Shirley reveals that she has a distant Italian relative, the series is lampshading the fact that Cindy Williams was in fact part Italian.

Grandma is upset about being lied to, so Frank decides to form a team for the pole-climbing contest and win his mother a trip to Italy.  Laverne has fun looking for muscular guys, until they defect to form their own team.  Since Grandma and Edna aren't climbing, that leaves five of the regulars, plus Cousin Anthony, and I guess three nameless relatives to form the required team of nine.  I knew as soon as Carmine showed up to fight with Shirley-- on the pole!-- that the team would "win" but lose on a technicality, and that's just Sitcom 101 and not anything I remember from the time.

Carmine and Shirley of course make up, and Lenny wants a reward, specifically a makeout with Shirley, or a box of Crackerjack.  Guess which one he gets?  (Lenley-- Shirny?-- was always a little more plausible than Squigerne.  He clearly lusted for her in a secondary way, and she sometimes seemed fond of "Leonard," although she's arguably maternal or auntly with him, while Laverne treats Squiggy as at best an annoying kid brother.)

Laverne has to make peace between her father and grandmother, which she does, and they have a tearful group-hug, which Shirley joins without knowing what it's about, because that's how sensitive she is.  The regulars wrap up the festival with a group dance and we never see any of Laverne's Brooklyn relatives, friends, or acquaintances ever again.

Cabbie Ogden Talbot previously was Wilbur and a Delivery Man.  Concessionaire William Sumper would play four other roles on this show