"The Dating Game"

"The Dating Game"
December 30, 1980
B

OK, technically The Dating Game didn't start until December 20, 1965 and I'm pretty sure it didn't air live, but in this universe it apparently has been on long enough for the girls to want to audition, and to watch it with tin foil as those two "edible bachelors" Lenny and Squiggy appear.  I think even at the time I knew that this, written by Al Aidekman, was one of the highlights of Season Six and it holds up well, although Rhonda and sadly Frank and Edna are kind of pointless in their scenes.

Luckily, the guest cast delivers and works well with McKean & Lander, who are definitely in the zone.  Frank Ashmore, a couple years after he played an idealized version of Dr. Bob Hartley, here is the smooth, handsome Bachelor #1, Bob Gatenby, who can't believe who the competition is.  Ilene Graff, when she was still playing bubbly, not-that-dumb-blondes on shows like Mork & Mindy and Three's Company, before she got mom-ized on Mr. Belvedere (something similar happened to Joanna Kerns), is Monique.  And a game-to-parody-himself Jim Lange has to manage the chaos without succumbing to it too much, as he does when Squiggy gives him dance lessons.  (Meanwhile Lenny is doing everything from the Charleston to something out of a Charlie Brown Christmas.)


Bachelor #2, Lenny, either has stagefright or he's suffering his occasional shyness with girls, because at first he has trouble even saying hello.  Bachelor #3 has no trouble with that.  In fact, he comes up with all kinds of answers, some of which get "bleeped out" with cuckoo noises.  Lenny, who his introduction tells us "enjoys Squiggy," praises his best friend when asked to describe him, something like "some women say that in a dark alley with no clothes on, he resembles a young Jack LaLanne."  Lenny's "best" answer is to the question about what the most romantic word is, "Lint," and when Monique questions it, he asks, "Have you never been in love?"

She of course chooses Bachelor #3, to #1's baffled disgust and #2's devastation.  Good friend that Squiggy is, he calls Monique a harlot and a trollop.  She threatens to sue if she has to go out with him.  So he chooses Lenny as his date to Acapulco and they're both excited about going to France.  Meanwhile, the poor girls are getting obscene phone calls because Squiggy gave their full names when making up a hot double date with them and Lenny in the Tunnel of Love.  And they find out that they could've watched the show on Sonny & Carmine's TV, which works fine.  Then again, the girls' way of watching television looks like more fun.

Sonverne shipping note, when Laverne accuses Sonny of only watching Monique on the show, he says Laverne is the only woman he looks at.  She seems a little possessive considering they just started going out, but then again, who knows how much time has passed in California?

Penny Marshall directed again and, yes, she's good with the more Squiggish episodes.

"Candy Is Dandy"

"Candy Is Dandy"
December 16, 1980
C+

Joanne Pagliaro's first of two L & S stories has the girls landing jobs at Bardwell's Department Store, jobs they'd keep for awhile, although not as long as their Shotz jobs of course.   The girls are gift-wrappers, and they wrap some candy that turns out to be full of rum, although Laverne doesn't realize this when she starts eating it.  The audience is clued in because the high school boy that Shirley is attracted to (Laverne points out he's "jailbait") knows French and can read the label.  He and his buddy plan to roofy their dates with a few pieces of the candy!  (Not that it's called that, but this is what passed for wholesome entertainment in the late Carter era.)  The girls are almost fired by their new boss, Mr. Hildebrand (Norman Bartold in his first of four appearances), but then he's grateful to them for pointing out the dangers of this product.  And Lenny and Squiggy bring four or five of their clients into their apartment through the "doggy door" under the girls' staircase.

"Grand Opening"

"Grand Opening"
December 9, 1980
B-

Ruth Bennett's first of two L & S stories has a few overlapping threads.  Although Frank and Edna said in the season premiere that they were opening their new restaurant in a couple weeks, it's not until this episode that they, yes, have their grand opening.  (Maybe there was a soft opening earlier.)  Enough time has passed that Shirley has found a job and collected her first Californian paycheck.  Laverne hasn't had any luck in her job search, although she had fun exploring Disneyland with the boys after she applied there.  (Marshall, McKean, and Lander are freaking adorable singing the Mickey Mouse Club theme.)  Shirley is trying to be patient, but it's tough when Laverne won't clean the apartment and she keeps spending money, including on calls to Milwaukee.  (Terry Buttafucco is name-checked and apparently still working at Shotz, but I guess the loading dock didn't have lay-offs.)  Also meanwhile, Carmine is going to visit and he ends up deciding to move to Burbank, in with Sonny, who he's just met.  (No word on the dance studio, but he could've sold that in '63 for all we know.)

Sonny offers Laverne $10 to be part of his knife-throwing act, and she agrees to do it for $20, thinking that she's in real danger.  He doesn't explain then or later the trick in the act, so when Shirley takes over for Sonny, after he's hurt doing a stunt, Laverne thinks Shirl must really be mad at her.  She offers Lenny and Squiggy "anything" if they'll free her, and Lenny looks at Squiggy hopefully, but Squiggy says that's not much of an offer from a dead woman.  Everything works out OK of course, and Sonny apologizes to Laverne and asks her out on what I presume is their first date, although it becomes a double date with Shirley and Carmine when an "unplanned pregnancy" leads to Shirley being fired.  (The pregnancy of her boss's sister, who has a husband who needs a job.)

So now the core cast of seven are all out in California, plus the two newbies, but the show is going to throw in a waitress in law school as well.  (Becky Gonzalez would play Rosita once more.  At least she gets lines, unlike poor Mary at the Pizza Bowl, whoever that actress was.)

"Studio City"

"Studio City"
December 2, 1980
C+

We now get completely Californized credits, both opening and closing, and I do remember being incredibly confused at the time by the New Year's 1965 sign in both.  Was it already '65 or would it be when 1980 turned?  Since the girls are mostly supposed to have graduated in '56, wouldn't that make them 27 in '65?  And wasn't Troy Donahue a has-been by '65?  Well, maybe that's why he's starring in a cheap caveman picture.

Yes, Donahue plays himself in this episode (written by Richard Rosenstock), wearing a very early-'80s-looking mustache, although no one notices of course.  The girls get jobs as stuntwomen, not through Sonny, although he does show up on set.  They are playing the "village virgins," and Laverne says it's a little late.  (So she stopped saving herself during the time-skip?)  Rhonda annoys Laverne and me.  And that's about all I have to say, except that the Squignowski Talent Agency of Burbank (STAB) is now a thing and would continue to be for awhile.  I guess Lenny & Squiggy had to earn money somehow after running out of ice cream.

Doug Cox, who was the Birthday Boy on the "beatnik" episode, here plays the director Zwick, an obvious shout-out to Joel Zwick (who had moved on to Bosom Buddies and It's a Living).  Frank and Edna are absent, as is of course Carmine (for now).

"Welcome to Burbank"

"Welcome to Burbank"
November 25, 1980
B-

Jeff Franklin also wrote the first episode set completely in California, with stereotypical establishing shots of the L.A. area (including of course an ABC sign).  The opening credits are the same except for the last shot, of the "California or bust" sign on the ice cream truck.  And after the views of L.A., we see the boys drop the girls and their furniture off in a still-dialogue-less scene.  The actual before-a-studio-audience part starts with the girls arriving in their new apartment, which Frank has found for them.  (Unless I hear otherwise, I'm going to assume he coughed up first month's rent, deposit, etc., especially since the girls are unemployed and made only $18 from selling their stuff last episode.)

Frank and Edna come in soon after, in shorts, which apparently turns Edna on.  (Laverne shares your discomfort.)  They brought the girls gifts back from their recent trip to Mexico: castanets for Shirley and a guitar for Laverne.  (The guitar would return in at least one episode.)  The girls love the apartment, including that it has an upstairs bedroom.*

They soon meet their neighbors, hunky manager Sonny St. Jacques (Ed Marinaro with less curly hair than as Laverne's cousin a few months earlier) and busty actress Rhonda Lee (Leslie Easterbrook, who I remember a lot better than Marinaro from the California years, but she would do a lot more episodes).  Lenny and Squiggy, who are hanging around selling what's left of the ice cream at the beach, immediately lust after Rhonda, but then Laverne and Shirley lust after Sonny.  (As I recall, Squiggy would have quite a thing for Rhonda, Lenny not so much.)

Things seem to be going well and Shirley even adopts a plant, a Wandering Jew named Stanley.  (By the way, I could've sworn that Shirley was Catholic as well as Laverne, but maybe I just assumed that because Shirley is Irish.  It turns out she's Protestant, and a Democrat.)  But then a massive earthquake, like I don't know, a 10.7**, strikes and the girls start rethinking California.  Finding out that Lenny and Squiggy have just signed a three-year lease on the apartment next door doesn't help.  (The boys think that their "male prowess" after scoring with a couple women they picked up is what made the earth move.  Unless they're lying, this is the first definite indication we've gotten that Lenny and Squiggy are sexually active.)

Laverne doesn't want to leave their garbage disposal and she convinces Shirley to give California another chance.  The promise of breakfast with Sonny, who worried about them, helps.  (And there is no sign of Carmine, except in the revised closing credits, which have all been Californized.)


*I don't, at least at this point, understand the layout of the building.  The exteriors don't match the interiors, and somehow there's the girls' apartment between two other apartments, with only one apartment upstairs, making four total.  I mean, it's not Brady-Bunch-house level mind-warping, but it did take me out of an episode that is in part about the building.

**I mean, I've lived in California a total of almost 40 years, and I have never been in a quake that throws beds around the room like that!

"Not Quite New York"

No wonder the lifeguard is tan.

"Not Quite New York"
November 18, 1980
B

So this was the Fall that everything changed.  Ronald Reagan won the presidency in a landslide and I started junior high.  I needed my shows to get me through difficult times.  But, while Mork & Mindy was working on "Putting the Ork Back into Mork," Richie left Happy Days and Chrissy would soon leave Three's Company.  (The Ropers had already been spun-off, and Welcome Back, Kotter and What's Happening!! had both graduated into syndication.)  A bunch of other ABC sitcoms had bitten or would bite the dust before Reagan's inauguration.  Even over on CBS, Alice had spun off Flo, M*A*S*H had lost Radar and a bunch of other folks I now caught in syndication, and Mike and Gloria Stivic had moved to California a couple years ago.

Maybe it was time for Meathead's real-life wife to move to California.  Or not.  Here we have what is widely regarded as Shark-Jump #1 for L & S (with Shirley's departure of course #2, chronologically at least).  But the season premiere (written by Jeff Franklin, although he'd soon be busy with Bosom Buddies) in itself is perfectly fine.  I mean, any episode where Lenny says that they'll narrowly avoid violating the Mann Act by taking a frog across state lines is going to make me laugh.  (The studio audience barely registers it, and I'm sure I hadn't a clue at the age of twelve.)

The boys are sitting in the break room, planning their vacation with the help of a Viewmaster (including slides of Snow White and the Seven Prisoners!).  But the girls kick them out because there's going to be a bottle-cappers' only meeting.  The girls hope for a promotion because they have seniority, but in fact Shotz is automating bottle-capping and the best the girls can hope for is jobs as truck-washers, with a cut in pay.  In this scene, we find out that Laverne and Shirley are now both 27, and if you're going, "What???", you're not alone.

"The last two or three years are a blur."

The opening credits and opening scene provide few clues.  The credits look just like Season Five's, down to Carmine spilling a submarine sandwich on himself at the girls' kitchen table.  Shirley looks just the same in her pajamas, although Laverne's skirt is shorter and her hair is fluffier when she comes in making out with a guy named Ray (Mitchell Laurance, who would play a Director later).  But, what's this, Frank and Edna are opening a restaurant called Cowboy Bill's, in California??

OK, OK, you're not shocked at this point, but were you 39 years ago?  (If you were alive and watching 39 years ago that is.)  Was I?  I honestly don't remember.  I mean, even over at NBC on Diff'rent Strokes, they had managed to spin off Mrs. Garrett in less than a season, and Facts of Life had already by November of '80 dumped Molly Ringwald et al.  I probably took L & S's transplant in stride, and I was a Southern Californian, so that made it nicer.  (Besides, I soon had a new favorite ABC sitcom, the aforementioned Bosom Buddies, which was definitely set in New York and which made fun of California.)

Anyway, Shirley luckily doesn't decide to re-enlist in the Army, and our girls don't get sent to Nam.  She suggests that she and Laverne join Frank and Edna in California, which leads to a shared-fantasy sequence set on a beach (or rather what is very obviously a stage set of a beach), where they reject the "evil things" a Big Movie Producer offers and instead meet their Mr. Rights, a Fish Doctor and a Tan Lifeguard (the latter played by a pre-Hunter Fred Dryer).  This is enough to convince Laverne, who wants Lenny and Squiggy to drive them to California on the boys' vacation.  Shirley wonders if this will be safe, but Laverne says it's safer than kissing them goodbye.  ("The Road to Burbank" would beg to differ, but we'll get to that.)

Carmine gives Shirley a lot of what she calls "fantastic" goodbye smooches, hoping to change her mind but he doesn't.  He says he'll save up to move to California to be with his Angel Face.  They kiss some more.  Poor Laverne has to carry out the last of the heavy luggage by herself, but I guess this is payback for Shirley covering for her on the phone when she got home very late with Ray.  (Who presumably wasn't a serious boyfriend, since Laverne wasn't completely honest with him about her job.)

This looks like during a break in filming, with Marshall whispering to Williams.

Carmine carries out Boo Boo Kitty and the girls have a moment looking back on their memories in the apartment, to the tune of "Yesterday."  Except not on the DVD release because of that ol' music rights issue.  (I won't penalize the episode for that, and there is currently an intact if wobbly version on Youtube if you're curious: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tk7s9IHo9nI&t=49s.)  Marshall and Williams are embracing before and after the clips and it's surprisingly moving.  And then we get a visual joke as they shut the door on that apartment for the last time, since Laverne has painted a big L on it.

They wait outside, with a Beatles standee that would soon grace their new apartment, and the opening credits (the main thing I remember about the California seasons).  If this is '65 (it isn't, but we'll get to that), then it makes sense that the girls would be Beatles fans and "Yesterday" did come out in the U.S. that September.  But it is one of many signs that the times they are a-changin'.

Carmine gives Shirley some more goodbye kisses.  Laverne gives a complete stranger a kiss and introduces herself after.  She's going to miss Milwaukee in general, more than the people, although she doesn't yet realize how few of her friends are going to be left behind.  It turns out that the boys have bought a used ice cream truck.  (Lenny wanted a garbage truck but it wouldn't come with garbage.)  And so it's a sweet ending to the Milwaukee days, and the start of a brand-new life, making their dreams come true, as Shirley reminds us in the beach fantasy scene.  But of course, this is Laverne and Shirley, and nothing goes smoothly for them, on or off screen.

John Tracy would direct only four more L & S episodes that Fall.

"Separate Tables"

"Separate Tables"
May 13, 1980
C+

In the closing episode of Season Five, the first of two collaborations by Deborah Raznick and Ria Nepus, Shirley makes Laverne confront her fear about spending time alone, by booking them separate tables at a Chinese restaurant.  Note that Laverne seems to genuinely want to go to the movies with Lenny and Squiggy, not just out of loneliness, a change from the first season or two.  And when it becomes clear that Laverne's emergency phone call interrupted Fredna having sex, we get this dialogue.
LAVERNE: Pop, were you fooling around?
FRANK: No, I was serious!

Frank Alesia, who had already written for the show, here directs his first of three episodes.  Rose Michtom understandably makes her last appearance as Mrs. Kolcheck.  Needless to say, I wasn't any more excited to see Julius LaRosa today than I was almost forty years ago.  But it was trippy to see Pat Morita during hiatus from playing Arnold on Happy Days (he was gone for a couple seasons), here as Mr. Wong, even making a joke about his mother pretending to be Chinese after Pearl Harbor!  (I took this as lampshading the fact that Morita had a discussion with Garry Marshall about what specific ethnicity Arnold was, and they decided on a Chinese mother and a Japanese father.)

In its fifth season, Laverne & Shirley tumbled out of the Top 30, thanks I'm sure in no small part to ABC shuffling it around the schedule.  (Its occasional upstairs neighbor Three's Company hung on to #2, while lead-in Happy Days was a respectable although not hot #17.  Even Mork & Mindy, which arguably was more shat upon by ABC than L & S was, did make #27.)  I think Season Five ranges from C to B+, and it still averages out to a B-, so the series had by no means jumped the shark yet, although the whole "army" thing was a definite misstep. 

"Testing, Testing" shows that the cast was still able to bring it, to collaborate in a fresh and yet comfortable way, and I only wish that there were episodes like that.  There was also still some good old drama and angst, like in the Ted Danson episode, and some sweet moments, usually from Laverne & Shirley, Laverne & Lenny, or Laverne & Frank.  I wish more had been done with Edna after she married Frank, although I like how proud Laverne is to call her "Mother," without forgetting the late Mrs. DeFazio.  Five years into this, I'm still not sure that the producers knew what to do with Carmine, and again this is no reflection on Mekka.  But, yes, Lenny & Squiggy continue to be an always welcome presence, to me if not to their long-suffering downstairs neighbors.

As for Season Six, well, we'll get to that tomorrow....

"The Diner"

"The Diner"
May 6, 1980
B-

Robert Perlow's first of three L & S stories has Lenny inheriting the title location from his Uncle Lazlo.  Due to a signed agreement, Squiggy gets half of the inheritance, but the guys don't know anything about running the place, so they agree to hand it over to the girls, who know a little bit more than nothing.  The main thing I remember about this episode from the time is cook Laverne saying, "Betty, please," whenever she has an order for waitress Shirley to pick up.

I'd forgotten about Shirley getting pinched by men several times in a row and then Laverne saying into the microphone, "Please don't harass Betty please."  And I'd forgotten how much Lavenny there is in this episode, although part of that is when Lenny startles Laverne with a kiss, as Squiggy startles Shirley with one, because that's how they plan to greet all their female customers.  Lenny informs us that women are hungrier after sex, as if he'd know.

The Laverne/Lenny starts with Laverne going over and comforting Lenny, who's crying over his dead uncle.  She even puts his head on her chest, although she knows the grease will ruin her bottle-capper's smock.  He asks her to do him a favor and from her reaction, we can tell she expects something sexual, but he says, "Not that," and has her open a telegram.  She, and Shirley, are protective of Lenny when Squiggy claims his share of the diner. 

And then when they go over to the diner, to see what the boys have done to it, besides the "surprise" kisses, we also see the boys holding the girls' hands, including Lenny leading Laverne out by hers so he can hang up the sign.  There's definitely a subtext that Lenny wants to share his sorrow and joy with Laverne, although of course he bails on the diner when he gets the chance.  He may love Laverne, but he's happy for her and Shirley to do all the work.

Oh, and Carmine sings a couple songs, one with the jukebox ("There's No Business Like Show Business," while you'd expect something food-related) and then one with the girls (Shirley's jingle for the diner).

This time, Jack Lukes plays Lou.  Linda McMurray would direct one other episode.

Some Lavenny stills for your viewing pleasure:

"Antonio the Amazing"

It's an episode with lots of beefcake.

"Antonio the Amazing"
April 1, 1980
B-

Cindy Begel and Lesa Kite's first of three times as a writing team for L & S has Ed Marinaro as the title character, Laverne's cousin from Italy.  Obviously, there's cognitive dissonance here, considering that Marinaro would show up as Laverne's boyfriend in California the following season.  On its own though, it shows that Marinaro works well with the regular cast, including Lenny and "Squidgy," who amuse him and show him how to be American, Lenny of course demonstrating how to bite your hand as an expression of joy.

Note that initially both Laverne and Shirley lust after Antonio, with Laverne clearly disappointed to find out that they're related, and Shirley needing to be reminded that she has Carmine (I cracked up at the way Cindy W. said "Edna"), but then they just seem fond of him, Laverne wanting him to be her honorary big brother.  Also, this is the second episode in a row where Shirley assumes that Laverne is still a virgin, admittedly a dirty-minded virgin.  And yet, Shirley is eager for Laverne to share what she overhears at Confession.  Oh, and the episode has a live bear.

"The Duke of Squigman"

"The Duke of Squigman"
March 25, 1980
B-

Jeff Franklin wrote this odd but interesting episode that has very little of Laverne and Shirley.  (Penny M. was directing her second Squiggy-centric episode, but I don't know what Cindy W.'s excuse was.)  The girls are going to a wedding in Chicago for a few days and they let the boys hang out in their apartment, as long as the guys follow a few rules and as long as Carmine stays there, too.  I don't know why Lenny and Squiggy can't use their own apartment, at least rather than go to the Texaco Station for the restroom, but that's the set-up.  Well, that and that Squiggy handles rejection so poorly that he starts sleep-walking, -talking, etc. in the guise of the title character, a "Gentile nobleman" as Lenny puts it.

Lenny tries to be supportive, repeatedly singing Squiggy a lullaby (the main thing I remember from the time) and playing along with Squiggy's delusions, until Carmine warns Lenny that sleep-walking is dangerous.  So there's a nice little scene of Lenny consulting Dr. Mathew Gentry (Charles Thomas Murphy again), then he tries to get Frank, Edna, and Carmine to be nice to Squiggy, but Squiggy assumes Edna has the hots for him, so the other three comically attack him.  Lenny finally gets Squiggy to accept that not everyone likes him, and the two men do their "Stupid!" handshake.  Then the tag undercuts this, with Squiggy forcing a kiss on a girl (Susan Barnes, who previously was Adele Harrison and a member of the Blue Team) who rejects him at the Pizza Bowl.  Still, McKean and Lander do some nice work, showing different sides of their often cartoony characters.

"The Survival Test"

"The Survival Test"
March 11, 1980
C

Richard Gurman's only L & S story, which inspired the Aidekman & Garrett teleplay, has Sgt. Plout return from Greenland and get the girls to agree to help her prove that WACs are capable soldiers, by dropping them into the snowy wilderness.  There were moments when I thought this was a shade better than the first Plout episode, including Lawrence's material (like her tale of a "brief and brutal affair"), but it was hard for me to get past the fact that L & S were in this situation only because of Plout, including her dropping the bag with their food into a river! 

Note that the rest of the regular cast doesn't appear in this episode, except for Laverne's hallucination of Lenny and Squiggy in shorts and offering her a fifteen-pound turkey.  Also, this is at least the fourth episode this season where Laverne refers to "monkey nerves," although this time Shirley cures them with a banana.  Freud would probably have more fun analyzing this episode than I did.

"Murder on the Moose Jaw Express: Part 2"

"Murder on the Moose Jaw Express: Part 2"
March 4, 1980
B-

Charlotte Dobbs (who would do one more L & S episode) and Jeff Franklin wrote this second part, where Laverne mostly has to investigate the case herself, because Shirley has disappeared and so do Lenny and Squiggy, after playing good cop & bad cop with the dead man (who I was sure was going to turn out to not be dead, but, no, we're in proto-Weekend at Bernie's territory).    Shirley turns up wearing a suitcase (!), because she was stripped naked (!!) by what turns out to be a bald man in old-lady drag (OK, I saw that part coming).  To my surprise, there's actually a bit of action and suspense in the final showdown, with the girls teaming up and Lenny helping a bit, so a B- rather than a C+.

Note that both boys pucker up when Laverne says she could kiss them, and Lenny of course bites his hand when she says she'll do anything if they can help her.  Also, this episode has Shirley in old-man drag, being flirted with by the supposed old lady, because, well, that's how Season Five rolls.  And the opening narration is by McKean, doing a British accent, and it's quite a contrast to his Lenny voice.

"Murder on the Moose Jaw Express: Part 1"

"Murder on the Moose Jaw Express: Part 1"
February 26, 1980
B-

So ABC came to its senses and moved Laverne & Shirley back to 8:30 on Tuesdays, and gave us a two-parter.  (Not a one-hour special, since Part 2 would air the next week.)  They also threw in an array of C-list celebrities that the studio audience was thrilled to see and I was, well, dumbfounded, because, sure, Charlene Tilton, Scatman Crothers, and Wilfrid Hyde-Pierce, it's the Love Boat era so why not, but I was actually spluttering about Conrad Janis today, because ABC had booted him off Mork & Mindy and he'd only been recently been brought back to M & M.  So who knows what I thought of this at 12, other than, Yay, my Tuesday night lineup is back!  (Also airing that night, the episode with Jack Tripper's brother, and Joanie and Chachi's first date!)

Anyway, in Richard Rosenstock's first of two L & S stories and Jack Lukes's first of four (although he had acted in a couple episodes already, which I'll retroactively tag), the girls have won a slogan contest, where the first prize is opening a brewery in Canada.  And the second prize, won by Lenny and Squiggy is, um, also a trip on the train to Moose Jaw?  Oh well, I'm not complaining of course.  The boys are prepared to solve a mystery because they're on a train, and "lucky" for them, a man gets stabbed and dies in the girls' surprisingly spacious compartment, but not before warning them about "the bald man" and passing Secret Microfilm (TM) to Shirley.  But before the boys can find the culprit, Shirley drinks poisoned cocoa and falls to the floor.  TO BE CONTINUED....

Roger C. Carmel would return as the Waiter in Part 2, while Charles Pierce would again be MacGuffin (you see what they did there?), while somehow Shelley Lipkin, who had recently been the Poet on the beatnik episode, would be back as "The Dead Man."

"The Collector"

"The Collector"
February 11, 1980
B-


John Byers and Linda Segall's only L & S script became a teleplay by Frank Alesia and Jeff Young, who also didn't write for L & S again (although Alesia would play Marty a couple years later, so I'm tagging him), but it's pretty good for a collaboration of newbies.  Carmine again wishes he could buy nice things for Shirley, and to a lesser extent for Laverne, so he gets a job working for a loan shark.  Pacifist Shirley makes him see the immorality of this.  The episode is also notable for the girls doing backup for Carmine at the Pizza Bowl, all of them in sparkling blue, and for some more Carverne, mostly on her side, as she kisses him for his gift of a watch and later ogles the beefcake in a towel.

Billy Sands previously was Holms and is Waldo here.

"Why Did the Fireman?"

"Why Did the Fireman?"
February 4, 1980
B

Roger Garrett wrote this episode where Laverne falls in love with a fireman named Randy Carpenter (32-year-old Ted Danson, still a few years away from Cheers).  The two are infatuated on their first date, and then we jump ahead a couple months and he's ready to propose.  But they keep being interrupted, and then he dies in a fire before he can keep their date.  So, while Danson is fine in the role, we don't really get to know much about him or their romance, and this is more about how Laverne and her friends react to his death.

It's an interesting touch having Lenny and Squiggy be the ones to break the news to Laverne.  We've seen on previous episodes that the boys love to play fireman, and here they're happy to tag along to the fire.  But they are broken by Randy's death, yes, even the usually less emotional Squiggy.  When Laverne cries, "I love you!", Lenny reacts as if she's talking to him, but he's actually not jealous of Randy, and in fact tells Laverne that they liked Randy.  She thinks it's a sick joke, and the boys have been established as having sick senses of humor, but she should realize that this isn't something they would joke about.  On some level, she does realize that, but she has trouble moving out of the denial stage of grief, even when Shirley tells her.

Edna, who I assume has just been divorced, never widowed, doesn't know what to say, but Frank does, because he has also asked why about the loss of a loved one.  He tells Laverne he's never lied to her, so when he says it, backed up by a newspaper story about Randy's heroic death, she has to believe it.  Penny M. of course does great with the range of emotions, but the supporting cast, well, supports her. 

My favorite scene is actually when Randy tells Carmine and Shirley about his plan to propose, swearing them to secrecy, and Shirley can hardly contain herself.  This is very different than "Falter at the Altar," where Shirley didn't approve of Laverne marrying Sal Malina after two months, although there the problem was that she knew that Laverne wasn't in love with Sal.  Here she is thrilled about Laverne's romance, although clearly jealous of the public displays of affection.

I don't know what, if any, fallout the loss of Randy will have on Laverne in the remaining three and a third seasons, but I do know that Laverne will fall in love again, but probably never with this much openness and trust.

"The Right to Light"

"The Monkey on one side and the Jerk on the other"

"The Right to Light"
January 28, 1980
C+

Kenny Rich wrote this episode that begins promisingly enough with the girls giving dance lessons to "the Jerk and the Monkey."*  Then the lights go out and the guys cry, "Double makeout!"  Most of the rest of the episode is set at the power company, where a computer error has led to the girls' power being shut off.  So they have Carmine chain them together, which puts naughty thoughts in his head, especially since Laverne also wanted him to bring peanut butter.  Then it turns out a mad bomber has left a cheesy-looking bomb, so the girls have to get out of this mess.  In the tag, Laverne has started to keep a diary as well, but she's less wordy.

Although it has nothing to do with this episode, I just want to note that Laverne has been using her camera a lot this season, not just on the "shotgun wedding" episode.  Also, L & L and S & S of course pair up for the dance lesson, and in fact Laverne agreed to teach the boys to dance because Lenny put his "little head" on her shoulder.  (No, not that little head.)

Frank and Edna are both absent again.  Richard Stahl, who plays the Clerk, was in pretty much everything, including the movie Beware! The Blob, although I don't recall any scenes with both him and Cindy W.  (This is actually his middle of three roles on L & S.)


*For those keeping track of anachronisms, the dance called the Jerk came out in '64, while the Monkey was popular the summer before.  I suppose it doesn't really matter, since the record on the girls' player is pure disco.  Surprisingly, the calendar at the gas & electric office is clearly February (28 days long), with the 1st on a Thursday, which in fact is correct for 1962!

"The Beatnik Show"

"The Beatnik Show"
January 21, 1980
B-

Al Aidekman wrote this story where Shirley dabbles in the beat lifestyle, well, to the extent of performing at a coffeehouse and reading books on philosophy.  Laverne feels left out and she decides to confide in Lenny, perhaps because she's by now learned that he can be surprisingly insightful about people.  While Squiggy sits at the other end of the couch, unable to read a comic book and listen at the same time, Lenny recalls a time when Squiggy had new friends and Lenny felt left out.  He reassures Laverne about her friendship with Shirley, and says that, although he wouldn't admit this if Squiggy was there, he "loves that little guy," and he knows she feels the same about Shirley.  It's a sweet little Lavenny scene and of course Marshall and McKean play it well, with Lander interjecting about the comic book to keep it from getting too sentimental.  In fact, this is one of those episodes that is good enough that I wish it was better, but I'm just not sure how well it all gels.

Carmine is absent, although it would've been interesting to get his take on Shirley's personality change.  Shelly Lipkin is a nameless Poet here and would later be the Dead Man.  Doug Cox, here the Birthday Boy, would be Zwick.  Paul Kreppel, who plays Rafael, would spend much of the '80s as Sonny Mann on the sitcom It's a Living/ Making a Living.  And, yep, that's Art Garfunkel as the Mighty Oak (a few years before his romance with Penny).

"You Oughta Be in Pictures"

"You Oughta Be in Pictures"
January 14, 1980
B-

Jeff Franklin wrote this story, which is interesting for several reasons, including ABC censorship (or lack thereof) in the very early '80s.  We begin with Laverne, Shirley, and Lenny all coming home from the Reserves.  He gives Shirley a light kiss on the head and, with his arms around both girls, says that they're all "bosom buddies" because of this shared experience.*  And when the girls think that he's gone home and they start to get out of their fatigues, he starts stripping down, too.  When Laverne shoos him out, he scolds her for not at least saying he has a nice body.  After he goes, Shirley wonders where he buys his underwear, so Laverne says she'll be up all night thinking about it!

Wait, there's more.  Shirley wants Laverne to go with her to audition for an Army training film, so she has to talk Laverne into it, leading to compliments on not only Laverne's acting, but her "sex goddess" body!  She says that Laverne could be Marilyn Monroe, with a bag over her head.  (I think we're now in '62, and Monroe would die that August.)  As if that back-handed compliment isn't bad enough, Lenny and Squiggy drive the girls to the audition and Lenny calls them both plain-looking!

The girls get the parts, although they're not clear, even when they're wearing the "gaudy" costumes, what these roles are.  Laverne hits it off with one actor, but Shirley tells the other that she's involved with someone.  (Are she and Carmine more exclusive this season?  It's hard to tell sometimes.  I mean, she did have the date with the midget, sorry, little person, not that long ago.)  The actor replies that he's gay, which definitely caught me off guard today.  Never mind that I'm not sure that someone as naive as Shirley would know the word "gay" in that sense in '62, but it just felt so randomly throw in for shock humor.

Then again, this is an episode about V.D., not that that's ever explicitly said, but it's pretty clear.  The girls end up thinking they're playing bimbos, humiliating enough, and have to be told by Carmine, who hasn't even seen the movie-- unlike Lenny and Squiggy, who play infected men and go to the premiere-- that they were actually hookers.  Note that Carmine can vouch for Shirley's purity but Laverne has to vouch for herself.

Bruce Kimmel, who's the director "T.P." here, was Scott and the Organist previously.  Harvey L. Kahn is Dickie here and would later be the Narrator.  Edna is absent although it would've been interesting to get her take.

This is, by some calculations, the 100th episode.


*For those keeping track, it was still ten months before Franklin, Zwick, and others would see the premiere of Bosom Buddies, but it's possible that show was already under discussion at this point.

"Not Quite South of the Border"

"Not Quite South of the Border"
January 7, 1980
C

So a new decade dawned and ABC realized that it had been a mistake moving Laverne & Shirley over to Thursdays, so they shifted the girls over to...Mondays?  I was an ABC sitcom loyalist well into the '90s and I can't think of any of their shows I ever watched on Mondays.  I'm guessing, but Mondays that season I was probably watching Little House on the Prairie on NBC, with occasional WKRP over on CBS.  I have absolutely no memory of this episode from the time, even as a summer rerun.  But maybe that's because it's not very good.

The idea in this story, the only one written by Susan Seeger, collaborating with Deborah Leschin, isn't a bad one, with the girls taking a cheap vacation in "Near Mexico," although if they'd taken Frank's advice to visit Laverne's grandmother in Brooklyn again, I'd have been perfectly happy.  It's the execution of the story, with timing of dialogue off and the physical comedy not really working, although I can see everyone, including the special effects crew, throwing themselves into it, as I listen to the studio audience roar with laughter like it's a classic I Love Lucy episode or something.  I didn't find the episode painful or anything, and I of course liked the stuff with Lenny and Squiggy wanting to stow away in the luggage (with Lenny almost eating Laverne's garter belt), but as with the "army" special, I just don't see the point of this episode.

Billy Sumper's middle of five L & S roles is as Lou, while Neil Thompson's second of four is as Fred Frick.  And Peter Elbling's final "foreign" role on the show is as Jose.  Carmine is absent, although you'd think he'd want to see Shirley off.

"Testing, Testing"

"Testing, Testing"
December 13, 1979
B+

Kenny Rich, who'd do one more episode, wrote the story and Chris Thompson did the teleplay, but I'd like to think the cast had input on their scenes, because there is a freshness and insight here that has been sorely lacking this season.  In fact, this is arguably the funniest L & S episode ever, and the only reason I won't go A- or higher is because Shirley-Cindy is the weak link.  Not that her stuff is bad but it is a bit of a falling off.

I thought that the plot was going to be about Laverne's work injury, both hands cut on bottles, but that's treated almost like the kitten subplot in the recent Angora Debs gang episode, present in multiple scenes but not the focus.  Instead the workplace is subjecting employees to psychological tests, first on paper and then oral.  We don't see the written part but we do hear that they had to draw houses, although poor Laverne's looked like a cow.  Squiggy drew a slum and Lenny copied off of him, while Shirley drew a dream home with no people, just dogs.

The scene of the four of them in the waiting room has wonderful chemistry, the performers playing off each other like the best of sketch comedy, but with almost an improv-going-well feel, too, and some of the lines do sound like ad libs.  I'm going to pretend, unless I hear otherwise, that Marshall, Williams, McKean, and Lander worked this out in rehearsal, keeping the best bits.

The psychiatrist, Dr. Gentry (Charles Thomas Murphy, who would return in the role), calls them in one by one, in reverse alphabetical order.  I particularly had to rewind the episode for Lander's bit because I was laughing so hard, like when the doctor asks if he's paranoid and Squiggy answers, "I'm German."  Lenny's bit is funny, too, of course, like the sincere question "Are you the Wizard of Oz?", but McKean infuses some of the pathos underneath, like when Lenny talks about his childhood and says the other kids made fun of him because his mother abandoned him and his father smelled like fish.  Shirley does her best to seem happy and normal, but she's of course trying too hard.  Laverne wins the doctor over with her humor and attitude to life, like how she's an "adjuster," making mistakes but adjusting them into wins.

When we return to the break room, the four coworkers are discussing the tests and then Dr. Gentry comes in, leading to a triple spit-take by Squiggy, Shirley, and Laverne.  Lenny takes out goggles and drinks some more of his coffee.  It turns out that Dr. Gentry is writing a paper, and he reads the the conclusion to the foursome.  They expect to be fired, but it turns out to be a celebration of the working class, their resiliency and their loyalty as well as their hard work.

And then in the tag we find out that Carmine's "house," which represents his personality, shows silhouettes of either himself and Shirley in lewd positions, or of Ozzie and Harriet in lewd positions.  Mekka is given the last line, about Ozzie finally taking off his sweater, and he sells it.

He also made me laugh in the scene where the girls are talking about the tests and Laverne denies that she always thinks about sex, while Shirley indicates she never thinks about it, which Carmine vouches for.  Laverne asks the psychiatrist if he thinks it's OK to kiss on the first date, and he says sure, so Laverne reports, "He told me I could go crazy on my first date."  Squiggy laughs and says he loves it, and Lenny, yes, bites his hand. 

And earlier in that scene, Lenny asks, "How's your little hand there, Laverne?"  When he emerged from his session and revealed that he lacks confidence, Laverne got up and lightly stroked his chest with one of her bandaged hands, calling him "you poor lug."  So, if my theory is correct that the cast had input, then I think we can credit Marshall and McKean for some of the Lavenny as well.

Frank and Edna are absent but not really necessary in this episode.

"The Fourth Annual Shotz Talent Show"

"The Fourth Annual Shotz Talent Show"
December 6, 1979
B-

Chris Thompson's writing is a little weak here, with characters meta-discussing, talking about what they need to discuss, too much.  But Carmine & Edna do a nice "Yankee Doodle Dandy," the girls put on Scarlett O'Hara dresses and gold disco-wear, and best of all Lenny & Squiggy do the hard-rocking "If Only I Had Listened to Mama,"* as well as a funny running commentary on the finale.  Oh, and this time Frank has ventriloquist dummies that look a little like Laverne & Shirley.

Valorie Armstrong played Cookie before and is Bernice this time, while William Sumper was a Concessionaire before and is Milo here.  Squigtone W.G. Snuffy Walden would go on to write the theme for Roseanne, among many other shows.  The actor who does the voiceover for Mr. Shotz isn't credited but I definitely miss Harry Shearer's version.


*The line "She said you better wear your rubbers or you're gonna catch your death" sounded a lot different in the pre-AIDS era.  (Rubbers as in galoshes, although then again, who knows with McKean's subversive humor?  Maybe it was about gonorrhea.)

"Take Two, They're Small"

Laverne's date of course admires her long legs.

"Take Two, They're Small"
November 22, 1979
C+

In this Judy Pioli* & Paula A. Roth story, the boys set up a computer-dating service and set up the girls with midgets, sorry, little people.  It's an odd story, but still better than the previous episode.

Bruce Kimmel, who previously was Scott, is Mr. Eddie the Organist here.


*It looks like Judy got divorced at some point in '79, since her "Shotgun Wedding" credit is for "Judy Pioli Ervin," but starting this episode it becomes Judy Pioli.  (IMDB says she's the mother of writer Jason Ervin, but her only spouse there is Tony Askins, question mark to present.)  I'll keep the tag as Judy Ervin though.

"We're in the Army Now"

She'll be back, yay?

"We're in the Army Now"
November 15, 1979
C

This Franklin & Ervin story shows that the series was trying to mix things up in the sense of keeping them fresh, but I'm afraid that this one-hour special mixes them up in the sense of not getting what makes the series work.  The girls have been at Shotz for five years with no promotion, a company record, while the boys have been promoted from truck drivers to semi-truck drivers, because they're "semi good."  The girls decide to join the Army, even though Shirley describes herself as nonviolent.  (We even see her with a daisy in her gun barrel, like it's the late '60s rather than the early '60s.)  They screw things up and then succeed too well, so that they have to try for a Section Eight to get out.  Luckily, they can now go into the Reserves (like Lenny, although it's not mentioned).

They at first have a pushover sergeant, but then they meet Sgt. Alvinia T. Plout.  I generally like Vicki Lawrence and she's certainly giving it her all.  Unfortunately, she hasn't really been given anything funny to do.  The highlight of the episode is of course when the boys, eager to help get the girls out of their uniforms (cue the leering and hand-biting), bring in a "Trojan Horse" that looks like a Shetland pony.  I just don't understand why, even for a one-hour special, the girls would be taken away from their able supporting cast, and into a hackneyed situation. 

Now, I can take or leave Army comedies.  I enjoyed the sitcoms Bilko and of course M*A*S*H, and I recently found Biloxi Blues better than expected, but I don't feel like Franklin & Ervin do anything fresh here.  It's as if just putting Laverne & Shirley in the Army is supposed to automatically make us laugh, but it didn't work for me then or now.  In fact, I remember being less than thrilled at 13 to see that this episode inspired the Laverne & Shirley cartoon, although there their sergeant was a pig.  (OK, voiced by Ron "Horshack" Palillo, but even so.)  I guess I can just be glad that the regular series didn't stay in the Army.



The Blue Team contains, among others, Susan Barnes, Joie Magidow and Ruth Silveira, who previously were Adele Harrison, Fish Trainer, and Karen respectively, while Frances Peach of the Red Team was Mary before.  Doris Hess was Dolores and is Sgt. Shannon here, while Julia Payne was Charmayne and is Colonel Turner here.

"Bad Girls"

"Bad Girls"
November 8, 1979
B-

Barry Rubinowitz wrote this episode where the girls help Mrs. Babish's teenage niece join their old group the Angora Debs (and we get another rendition of the song), but it turns out to be more of a gang now, given to stealing and vandalism.  This episode contains kittens, more Sea Hunt references and of course Lenny and Squiggy in drag.

Uh, yeah, about that.  So first of all, '70s drag for laughs, it's a definite thing on ABC sitcoms.  We already had Laverne and Shirley in Lenny and Squiggy's clothes and I suspect that Squiggy is in one of Shirley's outfits since they're about the same size.  Lenny is more obviously wearing at least Laverne's top, since it's got an L on it.  Generally, this sort of thing hasn't aged well, although it's not bad here until the tag, when the girls joke that the guys are teases for leading "big spender" sailors on and now have to "face the music."  The "half-ladies" seem perfectly comfortable in drag, but I assume we're meant to chalk this up to their general perversion and weirdness, as well as a sort of innocence that even Squiggy has, not pre-sexual but not fully mature either.  Obviously, no one was meant to analyze this at the time, and you can tell that the makers of the show are just having fun, as in the credit card at the end for "Lenore" and "Squendelyn."  (Bizarrely, there's a 1983 episode where Squiggy's sister visits, and she's named Squendelyn, and I'll try to figure out the canonical explanation for that when we get there.)

Judy Ervin returns as Terry Buttafucco, who we learn (or relearn) works on the loading docks.   It feels a little odd to not have Big Rosie as one of the ex-Debs to show up, and I'm pretty sure Terry wasn't a member before, but oh well, retcon.  This time Tracy Reiner, now 15, plays Carole.  Elizabeth Daily, who's 18 here, would still look youthful enough to play Loryn in the movie Valley Girl four years later.

"The Wedding"

"The Wedding"
November 1, 1979
B

Paula A. Roth wrote this episode that doesn't have much of a plot but is nonetheless sweet and at times very funny.  Although we just had a "wedding episode" a few weeks earlier, this time the wedding is for real and for an actual canonical couple.  Frank proposes to Edna, a month after he booked the church, and a day after waking up the girls in the middle of the night to get Laverne's blessing.  Edna doesn't mind this when he does finally awkwardly propose, but she thinks it's a bad omen when a funeral bumps their wedding off the schedule.  She's had five postponements and five bad marriages.  Frank, who's having a bachelor party with the guys (either because he has no friends his own age or because would you wanna party with Uncle Fungi?), reassures her.

Laverne is great about everything.  Although she was initially thrown off by the ship (whatever she may tell Shirley in the flashback to when she and Carmine made out and she was happy to introduce Edna to her father), she is thrilled for Pop, and she accepts Edna into the family with a little speech that's so heartwarming that Edna almost cries.  Sentimental Shirley is of course also delighted, and the two girls do what they can to plan the wedding.  They even find another church for the wedding, a black church.

I braced myself for cringey humor, but it actually works, even Laverne and Shirley singing with the choir.  And of course Lenny cries at the wedding, because he's just as sentimental as Shirley.  So we're going to just ignore the bad omens and forget what we know about the future of Fredna's marriage.

"You've Pushed Me Too Far"

"You've Pushed Me Too Far"
October 25, 1979
B

In this Jeff Franklin story, Squiggy literally and figuratively pushes Lenny too far, out their third-story window in fact.  It's a bit like "Hi Neighbor,"* in that the girls have to resolve things (and Jeffrey the Stuffed Iguana returns), but it plays out differently because the characters and the show are in a different place than in Season One.

The episode opens with the girls in exercise outfits to watch an exercise show.  When they go upstairs, the boys are distracted from their fight long enough to lust after the girls and, yes, it's Squiggy ogling Shirley while Lenny bites his hand over Laverne.  But after Lenny's injury, we see different pairings.  Lenny tests Shirley's patience and love of nursing by ordering strange food (e.g. Bosco in his BLT) and requesting a sponge bath.  She reluctantly agrees to bathe the foot of his broken leg, although it turns out that Lenny's "pleasure center" is on his sole.  (McKean basically mimes an orgasm with his expressive face, and that got past the ABC censors somehow.)

McKean also shows more anger on the show since when Lenny was mad at Squiggy on "The Slow Child," although here it is longer and more personal.  He doesn't want "Squiggman" to come home, so Laverne suggests he go tell Squiggy that.  Squiggy is staying at the oft-mentioned but never before seen wax museum his Uncle Elliot owns.  Laverne is the one to encourage Squiggy to at least apologize after treating Lenny like dirt if he can't stop treating him like dirt.  I like that her plain-speaking gets through to Squiggy in a way that Shirley's sweetness couldn't, just like she probably would've either flat-out told Lenny no to his requests or performed them without Shirley's squeamishness.

Both girls are touched by the boys making up but tease them about it.  So in return, when the lights go out, the boys chain the girls up in the Horror Room.  I guess they figured out another way to get home, or maybe they came back after getting a laugh on the girls.


*At one point, Lenny refers to his Lone Wolf jacket, so I think this is meant to be a callback to "Hi, Neighbor."

"What Do You Do with a Drunken Sailor?"

"What Do You Do with a Drunken Sailor?"
October 18, 1979
B-

Bobby Feeney returns in this Very Special Episode written by Chris Thompson and Gary H. Miller (the only L & S script by Miller).  It's a nice touch having Shirley's favorite brother, and the only one we've "met," as well as someone that Laverne is fond of, be the one who is alcoholic, so that the message is more meaningful.  (And knowing that Cindy Williams's father was an alcoholic adds to the poignancy of Shirley saying that "Daddy" was an alcoholic, too.)  I'm just not sure how well the sword-fighting and Lenny and Squiggy's silly costumes fit in with that.  Note that Mrs. Babish gives serious advice for the first time in awhile, since her third husband George had a drinking problem.  We also see the return of Shirley's "Dear Diary" in the tag, and even Laverne singing "Rubber Tree Plant" to encourage Shirley, who doesn't think it's applicable in this situation.

Confusingly Lynne Marie Stewart does in fact play Barbara Tedesco here, but she was definitely a different Barbara in "Hi Neighbor, Book 2," no matter what IMDB says.  She's an ex-classmate here but would be a different ex-classmate in her next, and final, L & S role three years later.

"Upstairs, Downstairs"

"Upstairs, Downstairs"
October 4, 1979
B-

Alan Aidekman's story of the girls dreaming about the results in the afterlife if they return or keep a $56 check for a mistaken refund from the phone company is pretty well done, with Shirley's dream of Heaven followed by Laverne's nightmare of Hell.  But the two things that most amused me have little to do with the moral dilemma.  When Laverne finds out she's going to be the Heaven bus driver but with no bus, she doesn't mind when she sees her hunky passengers.  Watching it today, I burst out into raucous laughter, because they look like two-thirds of the Village People!  I'm not sure if it would've had that association in '79, or how much the mainstream knew that the VP were very gay, but the subtext is glaring now, like the "Ain't There Anyone Here for Love?" number in Gentlemen Prefer Blondes (1953).

And this is the episode that my then-future-ex-husband would quote for years out of context.  We got together in '84 and I assume we later saw L & S on cable a bit (I do have Lenny's "In Love with Laverne" song on videotape), but even if we hadn't, I'd probably have been able to place "You bought a Hubba-Hubba Heiny??" back in context.  Remember, a big butt was not yet bad in American white culture (that came in during the '80s), and it's plausible, if ridiculous, that Shirley would order such an "enhancement" in the '50s.  Laverne and the studio audience were very amused, and I still am.

Dick Shawn's tendency to overact serves him well in the triple role of Gatekeeper for both Heaven and Hell and Phone Company Representative.

"Fat City Holiday"

"Fat City Holiday"
September 27, 1979
C+

I'm not a fan of the two-friends-go-to-a-health-spa-run-by-psychos plot, as seen on Ellen in '95 and (much worse) Roseanne in '96.  In this case, in Roger Garrett's story, Laverne and Shirley aren't even customers, they're trainees, so they have even more reason to leave.  Still, the Lenny & Squiggy appearance helped, and I did smile at the sequence where the girls break into the locker filled with forbidden food.  Note that this episode is set over Columbus Day Weekend.

In the Three Degrees of Garry Marshall game, Donovan Scott, who's Rollo here, would the following year appear as Castor Oyl in Robin Williams's Popeye.